If you’re interested in learning how you can leverage a 12-step group to help your recovery, contact FHE Health and learn about our aftercare and support group options. It’s one thing to take personal inventory and admit our wrongs one time. It takes discipline to continue to do this over an entire lifetime.
I’m In Recovery
Incorporating these lessons into the development of future amends can lead to a more positive and meaningful outcome for such people, and allow for a more mindful and respectful approach. Taking the time to let the other person express how they were affected can promote a more effective healing process, as well as make things less ‘about us’ and more about the person affected. This means maybe putting away the cell phone if you are with someone making amends, or turning down background noise if you are making a call to make amends. Do whatever possible to show respect for the situation and the person to whom you are making amends is the order of the day. Listening attentively to the perspectives of all the people wherever possible, except in the cases we need to avoid, can facilitate a deeper understanding and promote the healing process for both parties. Often, in our experience, when you get stuck in the amends process, it is due to getting inside your head, and imagining outcomes or otherwise succumbing to doubt.
- Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) is one of the oldest, continuous organizations that have offered those struggling with alcohol addiction assistance in achieving and maintaining recovery.
- Remembering how I stole from you makes me sad and fills me with shame.
- Humility is one of the simplest principles to understand because it’s straightforward.
- Far from being a one-off activity, making amends should be a consistent commitment throughout the recovery process from a drug or drinking problem.
An Amend, Not an Apology
The goal of the 12 steps is to provide a framework for personal growth and spiritual development, as well as to help individuals learn to live a life free from addiction. Many people think of making amends as simply apologizing for whatever wrongs they did in their using, however an apology is not an amend. For example, say that you stole $20 from your brother while you were using. In the midst of your ninth step, you say to him “I’m so sorry that I stole that money from you and used it for drugs”. A true amend would be giving him $20 back along with the apology.
What Does Making Amends Have to Do With Sobriety?
This was a good start for me but there were still a lot of “I’s” as I experienced this step. As with all the steps I have found for me, that as time moves on they reveal more and more to me. The more I practiced this step the more I found living amends out how much healing comes from it and not just for me. Sometimes the injured party is not willing to forgive and forget. Regardless, spiritual progress for those in recovery depends on doing their part right and making direct amends.
The Relationship Between Addiction and Nutrition
- When you’re humble, you’re cognizant of the fact that you’re not a major part of the bigger picture.
- With the publication of the organization’s principles and writings, word began to spread about its success.
- Listen to what the other person has to say, validate their feelings, and ask what you can do to help rebuild trust in your relationship.
- If you stole something from someone you cannot reasonably return the item to, you could simply resolve not to steal again from others as part of your long-term recovery goals.
- The first being the alcoholics in my life, I had a part in their disease and didn’t know what I had done to them.
Each day I ask my Higher Power for the strength to help me stay sober and live responsibly and with honesty. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me, but if not, I understand. Living amends is a third option for those in the ninth step of recovery. With this option, the individual in recovery takes steps to improve their relationships and demonstrate their lifestyle change. They may visit family members and friends more often, set aside time to spend with their partner or donate their time to a worthy cause. Admitting the wrongdoing is the initial step in developing your amends script.